The Good thing about Failure


“It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.” — J.K. Rowling

Why Failure is so Important

Failure, big or small is an important and necessary part of life, even though it hurts and that is why many people will not admit to it. Failure alters the landscape of your life, finances, relationship, and self-worth.

And, if you’re anything like me, then you’ve also most likely failed many times over. I can’t say that I particularly enjoy failing, but failure, through its life-altering lessons. Failure is a great teacher; it can chip away at all the excess around you, mould and shape you for your future; failure makes you into a better person.

Failure teaches you compassion, empathy, kindness, and great achievement that you could be less likely to reach for. It’s through failure that you learn the greatest lessons that life could teach but you will miss the lessons if you can only see failure as a negative life experience. Every form of failure leaves you with emotional turmoil and upset, agonizing pangs of guilt, regret, and remorse. But those that have known true failure and have bounced back from it understand that failure in life is necessary for success.

If you try to go through life without failing at anything, maybe you’re not really living a life at all because taking risks and failing is part of life; it makes you into who we are. In fact, the most successful people in life have failed many times too. No parent stops their child from falling when they are learning to walk, which is a type of failure. Rather, they will celebrate every attempt, every slight movement and rejoice over the first step of the child. But why isn’t failure at other things treated this way?

Unfortunately, society celebrates successes without highlighting the epic journeys towards such success that are filled with trials, tribulations, upsets, setbacks, and failures because it’s not as glamorous to talk about those things.

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” — Michael Jordan

Benefits of Failure

Failure can become a stepping stone if you allow it to teach you these life lessons.

1.    Experience

When you go through something that you cannot walk away from, you gain the first-hand experience which is something truly invaluable that helps you to develop a deeper understanding of life. It alters your frame-of-mind, makes you reflect on the real nature and importance of things, transforming and improving your future-selves.

2.    Knowledge

Failure brings important first-hand knowledge that can be harnessed in the future to overcome that very failure that inflicted so much pain in the first place. Nothing can replace the knowledge gained from failure. When Thomas Edison famously failed nearly 10,000 times to create a commercially viable electric lightbulb, with each failure, he gained the knowledge of just one more avenue that didn’t work. It was the accumulated knowledge developed from nearly 10,000 failed attempts that ultimately led to his success.

3.    Resilience

Failing in life helps to build resilience. In order to achieve great success, you must learn resilience. If you think you’re going to succeed on the first try, or even the first few tries, you’re sure to set yourself up for a far more painful failure. Resilience helps to breed success by setting the game up to win. Gone are the lofty expectations that things will happen overnight and that expectations that true success will take an enormous amount of work and effort.

4.    Growth

When you fail, you grow and mature as human beings. You reach deeper meanings and understandings about your life and why you’re doing the things that you’re doing. This helps you to reflect and take things into perspective, and develop meaning from painful situations.

Life is designed for you to grow and improve. From the very genetic fibres that make you into who we are as individual persons, into the fabric of society on a global scale, growth is a fundamental part of you, and without growth, you couldn’t improve life on every front.

5.    Value

One of the biggest lessons that we can learn from life’s failures is the necessity to create and spread an exceedingly high amount of value because value lies at the heart of success and a lack of value is a fundamental pillar to failure. In thinking about your past failures;

  •  Think about how much value you brought to the table.
  • Could you have offered more value?
  • Would that have prevented failure?

When you learn to create immense value and do so consistently, you will eventually succeed.

#failureisnotallbad #prideinstitute #lifelessonsfromfailure

Tactics – Game Plan


TACTICS – Life Lessons from the Beautiful Game Have a Game Plan – A strategy on what you want and don’t want, a formation rather than your usual approach. Come prepared, don’t be a one-dimensional player & avoid self preservation style.

CHARITY ORGANISATIONS AND CHARITY COMMISSION INQUIRY


The Charity Commission is the government department that regulates and maintains the Central Register of registered charities in England and Wales. The Charity Commission answers directly to the UK Parliament rather than to Government ministers.

Charities are custodians of trust and are therefore legally bound by Charity Commissions’ rules and regulations of operating, management, governance and reporting as detailed in the Charity Commission’s website and in charity’s trust deeds. Many charities are failing to pay attention to and adhere to these rules and are therefore being caught in the commission’s scrutiny and inquiry nets. While these are in some cases due to ignorance, negligent and oversight, the law requires certain standards to be met and adhere to as registered and operating charity organisation. In the public interest, the Charity Commission usually releases a public statement whenever it opens a statutory inquiry into a charity and publishes a report of the inquiry.

The common trend of what charities are being audited and investigated for are avoidable and in some cases require minor internal control and procedural adjustments. These includes but not limited to:

  • The administration, governance and management of the charity by the trustees
  • Timely preparation and submission of accounting and returns information
  • Conflicts of interests and transactions with connected parties
  • Adherence to safeguarding policies and procedures.
  • Misconduct or mismanagement in the administration of the charity and/or breaches of trust or non-compliance with charity law
  • Insufficient oversight and control of the charity, especially with regards to its assets by trustees
  • Ensuring that the charity is operating in accordance with the provisions of its governing document and exclusively for charitable purposes
  • Management and oversight of staff, use of the charity’s premises and safeguarding procedures by trustees
  • Failure to submit annual report and accounts to the commission when the charity’s gross income is over £25,000.00 per annum.
  • Fraudulent Gift Aid claims or administration.

In most cases, it is an issue of not knowing what to do, where to go or who to turn to especially before it becomes an open inquiry or just at the first instance that a charity receives the inquiry notification from the Charity Commission. But now, there is a solution; The Administrator International is a consultancy organisation with years of experience in dealing with and managing charity inquiry affairs on behalf of clients and representing them before Charity Commission.

The Administrator International specialises in setting up systems, structures and operations for charity and other not-for-profit organisations and can also carry out “health checks” on existing systems to identify gaps and recommend control or corrective measures. We also provide trainings for Trustees, Management and Staff, Leaders and Volunteers and other statutory obligatory requirements like safeguarding, fire, health and safety etc.

For more information on how we can assist your organisation in these and other areas, call The Administrator International for an initial conversation on 07853 060 707, email info@the-administrator.org or visit our website at www.the-administrator.org

 

 

Developing Mental Strength


Mental toughness is the ability to regulate your emotions, manage your thoughts, and behave in a positive manner, despite your circumstances.  It is a measure of your resilience and confidence and it is more than just willpower; it requires hard work and commitment, establishing healthy habits and choosing to devote your time and energy to self-improvement. Mental toughness allows you to make decisions that others might not have the courage or wherewithal to undertake.

Although it’s easier to feel mentally strong when life seems simple, but true mental strength becomes most apparent during tragedy, setback or disappointment. But choosing to develop skills that increase your mental strength is the best way to prepare for life’s inevitable obstacles. It is wisdom to prepare before the challenge or test of life come knocking; so, here are few tips that can help you develop your mental strength.

  1. Embrace Change.

Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Your biggest fear should not be of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. Let the environment of change and uncertainty energize and strengthen you mentally and bring out their best in you because it forces you to be resourceful.

  1. Stop Worrying About Pleasing Others.

Are you a people pleaser? Or do you go out of your way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. You should strive to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but don’t be afraid to speak up. Mental strength helps you to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset, so learn to navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

  1. Celebrate Other People’s Success.

It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mental strength helps you to develop this ability. Mentally strong people don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). Use other people’s success as a motivation to work hard for your own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

  1. Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for yourself.

To become mentally strong, you can’t be feeling sorry for your circumstances or dwelling on the way you’ve been mistreated. Rather, learn to take responsibility for your actions and outcomes and understand that sometimes life is not fair. Mental strength will help you to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned.

  1. Enjoy Alone Time.

Learn to enjoy and even treasure the time you spend alone. Use your downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, don’t depend on others to shore up your happiness and moods. Determine to be happy with others, but also be happy being alone.

  1. Understand that the World Owes you nothing.

Learn to enter the world prepared to work and succeed on your merit at every stage of the game because in the current economy, everybody is gaining the realisation that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package or a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. So be prepared to fight for what you want and desire.

  1. Be prepared for the long haul.

Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. There is no quick fix or immediate results anywhere. Apply your energy and time in measured doses and celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. Dig deep for a “staying power” and understand that genuine changes takes time.

  1. Don’t Waste Energy on Things you Can’t Control.

Mentally strong people don’t complain about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognise that all these factors are generally beyond their control. Safe yourself sweat and heartache by recognising that the one thing you can always control is your own response and attitude.

  1. Don’t Dwell on the Past.

There is strength in acknowledging the past especially in the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. Instead invest majority of your energy in creating an optimal present and greater future.

  1. Take Calculated Risks.

Be willing to take calculated risks. Learn how to weigh risks and benefits thoroughly, and fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before taking any action. Look before you leap, count the cost before you set out. The more calculated risks that you take and come out successfully, the bolder and stronger you will become at spotting risks and taking even better calculated risks.

  1. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs

What are your Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms (NUTs)? These are the beliefs about yourself, your life and the world in general that have been developed over time mostly from past experiences. Whether you’re aware of your core beliefs or not, they influence your thoughts, your behaviour and emotions. Negative core beliefs can be inaccurate and unproductive and if not checked can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Identify and evaluate your core beliefs and where necessary modify them purposefully and intentionally with hard work, it can change the entire course of your life.

  1. Practice Tolerating Discomfort

Some discomfort is often necessary for greater gain, and tolerating them will help make your vision a reality, one small step at a time. Being mentally strong doesn’t mean you don’t experience emotions rather, it helps you to become acutely aware of your emotions and make the best choice about how to respond. Mental strength is about accepting your feelings without being controlled by them.

It involves knowing when it makes sense to behave contrary to your emotions like stepping out of your comfort zone to challenge yourself. Tolerating uncomfortable emotions takes practice, but it becomes easier as your confidence grows.

  1. Expend Your Mental Energy Wisely

Ruminating about things you can’t control drains your mental energy. The more you think about negative problems that you can’t solve, the less energy you will have leftover for creative endeavours. Focus on what is only within your control, save your mental energy for productive tasks, such as solving problems or setting goals. When your thoughts aren’t productive, make a conscious effort to shift your mental energy to more helpful topics. The more you practice expending your mental energy wisely, the more it will grow and become a habit.

  1. 14. Reflect on Your Progress Daily

Create time to reflect on your progress toward developing mental strength by asking yourself what you’ve learned about your thoughts, emotions and behaviour at the end of each day. Consider what you hope to improve upon from today and accomplish tomorrow. Developing mental strength is a work in progress, there will be times when it seems more difficult than others, but by reflecting upon your progress daily, you can reinforce your ability to reach your definition of success while living according to your values.

 

 

The Reality of Perfectionism


While perfectionism is commonly seen as believing you want to be perfect or perhaps the obsession of wanting something to be exactly right, being a perfectionist can manifest in other subtle ways. Here are few questions to ask yourself to find out if you are a perfectionist. Do you:

  • Have to check something just one more time, “just in case”?
  • Procrastinate with the thought that it isn’t the perfect time to start something?
  • Always be the first person to spot a mistake?

The problem is that perfectionism secretly pulls you down. It stirs your doubt and fear, and generally makes progress much slower than it should be or it completely stops you in your tracks. You might not realize just how much it’s been stalling or holding you back from making progress in your life.

Perfectionism is more than pushing yourself to do your best to achieve a goal; it’s a reflection of an inner self mired in anxiety. Perfectionism is born out of uneasiness, concern and doubt rather than a simple basic want to do things well. While some people take mistakes as a lesson but perfectionists see them as personal flaws. They mentally beat themselves up and feel that sense of failure – the same fear of failure that perfectionism stems from.

Another source of perfectionism is the issue of ego. Many people want things to be perfect because they have a mind-set of caring what other people will think of them – that they’ll be judged negatively if something isn’t up to a certain standard. Childhood experiences can also allow perfectionism to evolve in your personality especially if you’ve learnt from a parent or guardian that you somehow can’t be lovable if you’re not perfect. This transcends into your way of thinking throughout work and relationships into adulthood. And of course, the restricted rules during your education years can teach you at a young age that following rules is important and it is to your detriment if you’re to break them in any way or not live up to them.

Many people take comfort in being a perfectionist but it’s a common myth that perfectionism creates perfection. One downside is the time wasted on making something seemingly perfect and actually causes you to become less productive. Spending more time on something can often be an illusion – we think we’re improving something but that time isn’t necessarily quality time and could be hindering your performance.

How to Change Your Perfectionist Mind set

Abandon the “All or Nothing” Mind set

A common mind-set when it comes to perfectionism is either you want to do something well or not at all. But the problem with this is in denying the importance of the process. Achieving greatness comes from the experience and insights gained from this process allowing you the chance to tune and apply these for future success. This inadvertently reduces the chance of failure overall despite what the perfectionist mind may try hard to deny.

Keep in Mind the 80/20

The 80/20 rule is a good one to keep in mind – only 20% of your efforts can amount to 80% of the results. Any more than this isn’t going to make a huge difference plus it gives you that leeway to tune up the details at a later date.

Actively Ask For Positive Feedback

Feedback is every perfectionist’s worst nightmare and while getting both positive and negative feedback is the ideal, this is something a perfectionist would struggle with already being aware of shortcomings and inadequacies. Therefore, asking for positive feedback on a regular basis can help counteract this and get the mind used to a balance of opinion.

Sort Out The “Must Haves” From the “Good To Haves”

Before you start any project, make sure you create a list of the ‘must haves’ and the ‘good to haves’Make the ‘must haves’ an absolute priority and only include the ‘good to haves’ if time and cost allows.

Set Realistic Goals

Setting unrealistic goals is a definite trait of a perfectionist and ends up causing feelings of inadequacy because they can be hard to achieve. Having goals is a wonderful thing but raising the bar too high can create feelings of unmotivated and lack. So harvest that desire to improve yourself by all means, but not to the point of making yourself feel less.

#BecomeaBetterMan