CHARITY ORGANISATIONS AND CHARITY COMMISSION INQUIRY


The Charity Commission is the government department that regulates and maintains the Central Register of registered charities in England and Wales. The Charity Commission answers directly to the UK Parliament rather than to Government ministers.

Charities are custodians of trust and are therefore legally bound by Charity Commissions’ rules and regulations of operating, management, governance and reporting as detailed in the Charity Commission’s website and in charity’s trust deeds. Many charities are failing to pay attention to and adhere to these rules and are therefore being caught in the commission’s scrutiny and inquiry nets. While these are in some cases due to ignorance, negligent and oversight, the law requires certain standards to be met and adhere to as registered and operating charity organisation. In the public interest, the Charity Commission usually releases a public statement whenever it opens a statutory inquiry into a charity and publishes a report of the inquiry.

The common trend of what charities are being audited and investigated for are avoidable and in some cases require minor internal control and procedural adjustments. These includes but not limited to:

  • The administration, governance and management of the charity by the trustees
  • Timely preparation and submission of accounting and returns information
  • Conflicts of interests and transactions with connected parties
  • Adherence to safeguarding policies and procedures.
  • Misconduct or mismanagement in the administration of the charity and/or breaches of trust or non-compliance with charity law
  • Insufficient oversight and control of the charity, especially with regards to its assets by trustees
  • Ensuring that the charity is operating in accordance with the provisions of its governing document and exclusively for charitable purposes
  • Management and oversight of staff, use of the charity’s premises and safeguarding procedures by trustees
  • Failure to submit annual report and accounts to the commission when the charity’s gross income is over £25,000.00 per annum.
  • Fraudulent Gift Aid claims or administration.

In most cases, it is an issue of not knowing what to do, where to go or who to turn to especially before it becomes an open inquiry or just at the first instance that a charity receives the inquiry notification from the Charity Commission. But now, there is a solution; The Administrator International is a consultancy organisation with years of experience in dealing with and managing charity inquiry affairs on behalf of clients and representing them before Charity Commission.

The Administrator International specialises in setting up systems, structures and operations for charity and other not-for-profit organisations and can also carry out “health checks” on existing systems to identify gaps and recommend control or corrective measures. We also provide trainings for Trustees, Management and Staff, Leaders and Volunteers and other statutory obligatory requirements like safeguarding, fire, health and safety etc.

For more information on how we can assist your organisation in these and other areas, call The Administrator International for an initial conversation on 07853 060 707, email info@the-administrator.org or visit our website at www.the-administrator.org

 

 

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Developing Mental Strength


Mental toughness is the ability to regulate your emotions, manage your thoughts, and behave in a positive manner, despite your circumstances.  It is a measure of your resilience and confidence and it is more than just willpower; it requires hard work and commitment, establishing healthy habits and choosing to devote your time and energy to self-improvement. Mental toughness allows you to make decisions that others might not have the courage or wherewithal to undertake.

Although it’s easier to feel mentally strong when life seems simple, but true mental strength becomes most apparent during tragedy, setback or disappointment. But choosing to develop skills that increase your mental strength is the best way to prepare for life’s inevitable obstacles. It is wisdom to prepare before the challenge or test of life come knocking; so, here are few tips that can help you develop your mental strength.

  1. Embrace Change.

Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Your biggest fear should not be of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. Let the environment of change and uncertainty energize and strengthen you mentally and bring out their best in you because it forces you to be resourceful.

  1. Stop Worrying About Pleasing Others.

Are you a people pleaser? Or do you go out of your way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. You should strive to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but don’t be afraid to speak up. Mental strength helps you to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset, so learn to navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

  1. Celebrate Other People’s Success.

It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mental strength helps you to develop this ability. Mentally strong people don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). Use other people’s success as a motivation to work hard for your own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

  1. Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for yourself.

To become mentally strong, you can’t be feeling sorry for your circumstances or dwelling on the way you’ve been mistreated. Rather, learn to take responsibility for your actions and outcomes and understand that sometimes life is not fair. Mental strength will help you to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned.

  1. Enjoy Alone Time.

Learn to enjoy and even treasure the time you spend alone. Use your downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, don’t depend on others to shore up your happiness and moods. Determine to be happy with others, but also be happy being alone.

  1. Understand that the World Owes you nothing.

Learn to enter the world prepared to work and succeed on your merit at every stage of the game because in the current economy, everybody is gaining the realisation that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package or a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. So be prepared to fight for what you want and desire.

  1. Be prepared for the long haul.

Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. There is no quick fix or immediate results anywhere. Apply your energy and time in measured doses and celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. Dig deep for a “staying power” and understand that genuine changes takes time.

  1. Don’t Waste Energy on Things you Can’t Control.

Mentally strong people don’t complain about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognise that all these factors are generally beyond their control. Safe yourself sweat and heartache by recognising that the one thing you can always control is your own response and attitude.

  1. Don’t Dwell on the Past.

There is strength in acknowledging the past especially in the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. Instead invest majority of your energy in creating an optimal present and greater future.

  1. Take Calculated Risks.

Be willing to take calculated risks. Learn how to weigh risks and benefits thoroughly, and fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before taking any action. Look before you leap, count the cost before you set out. The more calculated risks that you take and come out successfully, the bolder and stronger you will become at spotting risks and taking even better calculated risks.

  1. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs

What are your Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms (NUTs)? These are the beliefs about yourself, your life and the world in general that have been developed over time mostly from past experiences. Whether you’re aware of your core beliefs or not, they influence your thoughts, your behaviour and emotions. Negative core beliefs can be inaccurate and unproductive and if not checked can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Identify and evaluate your core beliefs and where necessary modify them purposefully and intentionally with hard work, it can change the entire course of your life.

  1. Practice Tolerating Discomfort

Some discomfort is often necessary for greater gain, and tolerating them will help make your vision a reality, one small step at a time. Being mentally strong doesn’t mean you don’t experience emotions rather, it helps you to become acutely aware of your emotions and make the best choice about how to respond. Mental strength is about accepting your feelings without being controlled by them.

It involves knowing when it makes sense to behave contrary to your emotions like stepping out of your comfort zone to challenge yourself. Tolerating uncomfortable emotions takes practice, but it becomes easier as your confidence grows.

  1. Expend Your Mental Energy Wisely

Ruminating about things you can’t control drains your mental energy. The more you think about negative problems that you can’t solve, the less energy you will have leftover for creative endeavours. Focus on what is only within your control, save your mental energy for productive tasks, such as solving problems or setting goals. When your thoughts aren’t productive, make a conscious effort to shift your mental energy to more helpful topics. The more you practice expending your mental energy wisely, the more it will grow and become a habit.

  1. 14. Reflect on Your Progress Daily

Create time to reflect on your progress toward developing mental strength by asking yourself what you’ve learned about your thoughts, emotions and behaviour at the end of each day. Consider what you hope to improve upon from today and accomplish tomorrow. Developing mental strength is a work in progress, there will be times when it seems more difficult than others, but by reflecting upon your progress daily, you can reinforce your ability to reach your definition of success while living according to your values.

 

 

The Reality of Perfectionism


While perfectionism is commonly seen as believing you want to be perfect or perhaps the obsession of wanting something to be exactly right, being a perfectionist can manifest in other subtle ways. Here are few questions to ask yourself to find out if you are a perfectionist. Do you:

  • Have to check something just one more time, “just in case”?
  • Procrastinate with the thought that it isn’t the perfect time to start something?
  • Always be the first person to spot a mistake?

The problem is that perfectionism secretly pulls you down. It stirs your doubt and fear, and generally makes progress much slower than it should be or it completely stops you in your tracks. You might not realize just how much it’s been stalling or holding you back from making progress in your life.

Perfectionism is more than pushing yourself to do your best to achieve a goal; it’s a reflection of an inner self mired in anxiety. Perfectionism is born out of uneasiness, concern and doubt rather than a simple basic want to do things well. While some people take mistakes as a lesson but perfectionists see them as personal flaws. They mentally beat themselves up and feel that sense of failure – the same fear of failure that perfectionism stems from.

Another source of perfectionism is the issue of ego. Many people want things to be perfect because they have a mind-set of caring what other people will think of them – that they’ll be judged negatively if something isn’t up to a certain standard. Childhood experiences can also allow perfectionism to evolve in your personality especially if you’ve learnt from a parent or guardian that you somehow can’t be lovable if you’re not perfect. This transcends into your way of thinking throughout work and relationships into adulthood. And of course, the restricted rules during your education years can teach you at a young age that following rules is important and it is to your detriment if you’re to break them in any way or not live up to them.

Many people take comfort in being a perfectionist but it’s a common myth that perfectionism creates perfection. One downside is the time wasted on making something seemingly perfect and actually causes you to become less productive. Spending more time on something can often be an illusion – we think we’re improving something but that time isn’t necessarily quality time and could be hindering your performance.

How to Change Your Perfectionist Mind set

Abandon the “All or Nothing” Mind set

A common mind-set when it comes to perfectionism is either you want to do something well or not at all. But the problem with this is in denying the importance of the process. Achieving greatness comes from the experience and insights gained from this process allowing you the chance to tune and apply these for future success. This inadvertently reduces the chance of failure overall despite what the perfectionist mind may try hard to deny.

Keep in Mind the 80/20

The 80/20 rule is a good one to keep in mind – only 20% of your efforts can amount to 80% of the results. Any more than this isn’t going to make a huge difference plus it gives you that leeway to tune up the details at a later date.

Actively Ask For Positive Feedback

Feedback is every perfectionist’s worst nightmare and while getting both positive and negative feedback is the ideal, this is something a perfectionist would struggle with already being aware of shortcomings and inadequacies. Therefore, asking for positive feedback on a regular basis can help counteract this and get the mind used to a balance of opinion.

Sort Out The “Must Haves” From the “Good To Haves”

Before you start any project, make sure you create a list of the ‘must haves’ and the ‘good to haves’Make the ‘must haves’ an absolute priority and only include the ‘good to haves’ if time and cost allows.

Set Realistic Goals

Setting unrealistic goals is a definite trait of a perfectionist and ends up causing feelings of inadequacy because they can be hard to achieve. Having goals is a wonderful thing but raising the bar too high can create feelings of unmotivated and lack. So harvest that desire to improve yourself by all means, but not to the point of making yourself feel less.

#BecomeaBetterMan

 

 

SME and GDPR Compliance


With less than 3 months to the new EU law on Data Protection – General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) becoming an enforceable law across European Union countries, I have noticed that most of the available materials are focused on the race to compliance and what organisations needs to do. Good as these have been, as a consultant (www.the-administrator.org)  from my conversations with SME organisations especially the not-for profit, many are concerned about the whole GDPR business especially with meeting the compliance deadline or at least working towards it. One can argue that they should have been getting ready for the nearly almost two years grace, but if you understand this sector (not-for profit) in particular, you will realise that they are mostly administered and managed on a shoe string budgets and volunteer personnel.

The main concern they have is based primarily on what is required to be compliant – data discovery, mapping, sorting, categorising, deleting, storing, and all the new Data Subject rights etc. Again, while one can argue that this should have been part of their operational ethos all along, the fact is there are many organisations out there who cannot boast of a “clean house” as far as their data is concerned especially in line with the GDPR regulations and expectation – and I am talking of big and large organisations. It is no surprise that the number of GDPR related job vacancies is very high because many organisations are in the same boat as these small and medium size companies especially the charities and other not-for profit ones.

However, what has compounded this concern for the SMEs is two folds. First, there are no quick fix solutions out there to get them ready for the deadline date. Most of the tools available on the market which are being touted are not primarily GDPR compliance tailored. Most of them are primarily based around:

  • Data security
  • Malware threat resistance
  • Server activities monitoring
  • Monitoring of interactions of other software on the servers and their impacts on the core business
  • Cyber security
  • Risk Management & Reporting

While all these are part of what GDPR compliance requires, they are not entirely devoted or aimed at speeding up the process of compliance especially for SMEs.

The second and maybe equal problem facing the SMEs is the financial implication of these tools. They are mostly capital intensive – like cloud based servers and such investment cannot be justified by the smaller companies without the potential bigger financial burden for them. For instance, a church with an average member of 300 and an annual gross income of £75,000 will never be able to afford a Cisco, IBM or any other major provider of some of these hardware and software needed for a GDPR compliance operation. Even where such cost is amortised, the financial burden will still outweigh the potential benefits to these organisations.

So, the questions are:

  • Is there anything out in the market that can aid these SMEs in managing the GDPR compliance process?
  • Is there a software that can be deployed to assist with:
    • Data identification, gathering and sorting?
    • Data mapping or data flow
  • A software that will provide templates for:
    • Gap analysis questionnaire
    • Different policies that are easily editable to suit different organisations
    • Vendor or 3rd party risk-assessment questionnaire etc.
  • A simple stand-alone database software that can be easily and quickly deploy to handle all the data for onward in house management
  • Cost – is there anytshing available to provide all these benefits at reasonable cost to the SMEs?

I realise the ICO’s website has wealth of information and ideas on what to and how to, but ultimately, these SMEs are still left with grappling with manual rather than automated system which may not put them in a compliance state come May 25th 2018. While it will get them on the way, the danger is that most organisations will abandoned the process once the date has come and gone which is not what is required or expected of them especially when they can only rely on volunteers to come in and perform these tasks for them. In summary, how can a manual process that can take between 3 – 6 months be speeded up via automation and be completed in a fraction of this time?

Just my thought!

www.the-administrator.org

 

 

 

 

Become a Better Man – Pay Attention


We’ve all probably heard from a teacher or a parent statements like Attention please! “Whatever you focus on will develop” “Pay attention”.  And most of us probably castigate ourselves on a daily basis for our inability to concentrate on the task at hand. It seems in our distracted world of texts, tweets, and news feeds, more and more folks are bemoaning their scattered thinking and have a strong desire to improve their attention span and focus but we often come up short. When we do fail, the typical response is to redouble our efforts and ask; “What is going on here? Why is it so hard to bridle my attention?”

In answering this question, the two common culprits to point to are the increasing amount of distractions in our modern world and our lack of individual discipline. While these factors are certainly part of the problem, there is a more fundamental underlying issue at play: people want to master their attention, but they don’t know what attention actually is. Since you can’t change what you can’t understand, it is necessary to study the nature of attention – what it is, how it works, and why it’s so important.

What is Attention?

Attention is taking possession of the mind on one out of several simultaneously possible objects or trains of thought. It implies a withdrawal from some things in order to deal effectively with others.

What we decide to pay attention to and what we decide to ignore shapes our existence and our reality. Since everyone pays attention to different things, everyone has different conceptions of reality and that is why three different eyewitnesses can have three different accounts of a crime and why couples get in fights about who is or isn’t pulling their weight around the house — everyone is training their focusing lens on different things and framing the “shots” of their reality in their own way. Attention involves a complex combination of different cognitive processes — like working memory and executive control — that work together in unison

So attention in a nutshell is the ability to focus on certain stimuli or thoughts while ignoring others, which in turn shapes how we perceive and experience the world around us.

 

Types of Attention

 

  1. Involuntary Attention

Involuntary attention isn’t consciously controlled by us, but rather by compelling stimuli in our environment. We experience involuntary attention when we hear a loud noise, see what we think is a snake slithering in the grass, or simply notice something new and novel. Stimuli that’s possibly dangerous typically grabs our involuntary attention more than stimuli that could lead to a reward; in primitive times, simply surviving was more important than getting ahead. In the modern age, our involuntary attention has been hijacked by the constant stream of stuff going on around us — urban noise, TV, smartphone pings, background music, etc. “Look, I see a bear!” has become, “Look a funny video on YouTube!

Basically, the sensitivity of our involuntary attention to the new and unusual is the reason why the internet is so distracting. While our involuntary attention can be overwhelmed by an onslaught of distractions, mild stimulation of it actually puts us in a state that quiets the mind and gives our voluntary attention a break. Getting out into nature puts us in this soft fascination state – there are different things to see whilst out walking in the woods, but the stream of incoming stimuli is so slow and mellow our mind feels simultaneously engaged and at rest.

 

  1. Voluntary Attention

Voluntary attention is a focusing process over which we have conscious control. Instead of our attention being at the whim of whatever stimuli grabs it, we deliberately decide what our mind attends to.

Voluntary attention requires effort, willpower, and intentional concentration. You exercise your voluntary attention when you decide which of the stimuli bombarding your involuntary attention you’ll attend to, and which you’ll ignore. We also call upon our voluntary attention when we try to shut out all competing stimuli in order to concentrate on a single task, like writing a memo, reading a book, meditating, or even playing a video game.

The more stimuli there are competing for our involuntary attention, the harder our voluntary attention has to work to stay engaged with the task at hand. If involuntary attention allowed our species to survive, voluntary attention is what has really helped us to thrive. It’s through voluntary attention that cities were built, wars were won, and masterpieces written. On an individual level, voluntary attention is what allows you to progress with your personal goals.

 

  1. Default Mode: Mind Wandering

When an outside stimulus isn’t engaging our involuntary attention or we’re not using our voluntary attention to attend to a specific task or thought, our mind shifts into a default mode called “mind wandering” – what we often refer to as daydreaming. On the one hand, mind wandering takes our voluntary attention away from whatever task we might be working on at the moment. It often happens while we’re engaged in low cognition activities like showering, walking, exercising, or even reading. On the other hand, when we engage in mind wandering, our brains actually use the same regions that are utilised when we are trying to exercise voluntary attention; even though we’re not paying attention to the task at hand, we are paying some attention to our distracting thoughts -like tonight’s dinner. Mind wandering is an important facet in our attention system because we spend about 50% of our time in this default. Spending time in this state has both benefits and drawbacks.

 

The Drawback of Mind Wandering

  1. Mind wandering keeps you from being present in what you’re doing
  2. When our minds wander, it normally drift towards negative thoughts and emotions such as unresolved problems, conflicts with co-workers, unfulfilled goals, bills to be paid, even an embarrassing moment from the past.
  3. These negative taught tend to pulls us deeper and deeper into a funk.

 

The Benefits of Mind Wandering

  1. Mind wandering directs our brain to the unused processing power towards solving unresolved problems. Mind wandering’s negativity bias is just trying to nudge us to work on the issues in our lives that need some untangling.
  2. During positive-constructive daydreaming, we engage in future planning, reminisce about positive emotional experiences, and engage in moral reasoning.
  3. Mind wandering can get our creative juices flowing. Mind wandering boosts creativity because it’s so unstructured. By allowing our mind to freely ramble over the hills and dales of our craniums, we’re able to make connections we otherwise wouldn’t if we were actively directing our attention to one single solution.
  4. Finally, and most importantly, daydreaming gives our voluntary and involuntary attention systems a break.

In summary, mind wandering can be good or bad, depending on how we manage and direct it. While research suggests that whether our mind wandering skews negative or positive depends largely in part on our genetic temperament, we do have the conscious ability to nudge our wandering mind into more constructive modes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Become a Better Man – Decide to Live Your Dream


When we were kids, we had dreams of cool and exciting stuff we wanted to do when we grew up. We wrote many English composition in secondary school on “What I would like to be in future”

But something happens when we became adults, we become cynical and start thinking big adventures aren’t prudent, reasonable and affordable. We said we’re too busy to do anything extraordinary and we were surrounded by ordinary people who aren’t doing anything special either. So we settle and stick with doing what’s safe, we settle for less instead of asking for more. We gave up on our dreams and start to exist instead of living and we fit into the mould instead of breaking the containment. Ultimately, we give up on our dreams and live an ordinary, boring, going-nowhere, NFA – (no future ambition) lives.

The question is how did we resolve that there is something better than those dreams? The answer is we woke up and stopped dreaming, we told ourselves – “oh, that was just a dream” and we abandoned who we were and embraced who we are told we are. So, today I say “wake up from your slumber and dream again” because what we had was not just a dream, rather we were time travelling into our future. It was:

  1. A purpose
  2. The reason we are here
  3. Our lives
  4. Our future
  5. Our goal

No matter how deeply we bury our dreams, their carcass and their ghosts of regret over their demise will still come bubbling to the surface. I am convinced that all men are made for adventure. And when there’s no adventure in our lives, a little part of us dies. If you feel like you’ve been in a rut or that you’ve become too boring, a DECISION is the first step to adding a little more excitement back into your life. A quality DECISION is the one KEY that will open the road map to a life of adventure and fulfilment for you.

In order to succeed, how you see yourselves have to fundamentally change because the DECISION to live again will start to disconnect you from your environment and relationships and you will find yourself looking out over the edge of a cliff. You will be terrified of what might happen if you allow yourself to go there. Will everything fall apart? You will be tempted to turn around and go back to the lie you’ve been living. But No, not this time! This time is different because you’ve caught on to the fact that there’s really nothing behind you and going back would be more painful than the unknown future—no matter what that might be.

HERE ARE 10 DOORS THAT THE DECISION KEY WILL OPEN FOR YOU

  1. You will see your dream everywhere.

“Our eyes only see and our ears only hear what our brain is looking for.”  —Dan Sullivan

Once you commit to living your dreams, the lids blinding your eyes will be lifted. A completely new world will be opened to your view. You will notice opportunities that have been in your reach all along, the ones your conscious mind simply didn’t pay heed to. Your selective attention will zoom-in on what you want in microscopic detail. The fundamental change taking place is your self-identity and once this shift has happened, your whole world will change. Nothing becomes impossible to you. Your only limitations are your consciousness, which is quickly expanding.

  1. You will have boundless energy, fueled by purpose.

After you’ve crossed the threshold of decision, you will find a new wellspring of infinite energy and you will no longer need to rely on willpower. You will move beyond will to why and your internal resolve and zeal will trump your external stimuli—no matter how difficult.

  1. You will learn, grow and understand quickly.

Once you’ve made the leap, you’ll have a thirst for knowledge, wisdom and understanding like a sponge, soaking up everything you can, creating loads of neural connections and schematic networks. With enhanced consciousness, time will slow down for you and you’ll see things in slow motion mode than others. You will teach and share abundantly. You will experience far more joy seeing others benefiting from your teaching than by experiencing success yourself

  1. You will realise all of your previous fears were unfounded.

Theory and experience are two completely different things. When you fully commit to your decision, in your mind, you already are where you plan to be. So you don’t worry about it anymore. You see fears as part of the process, as a signal you’re moving in the right direction.

  1. You will stop worrying about—and instead anticipate—the future.

Once you’ve made your decision, you have nothing to worry about because you are in creation mode. You are no longer chasing happiness. You know success is inevitable because you’re in alignment. Every day your external world more closely matches your internal reality. As Dan Sullivan said, “You can have everything you love in life as long as you give up what you hate.”

  1. All of your needs will be met

Beyond your point of no return, blessings become your norm. All of your needs are met, the right people will come into your life, you will have enough time and money to get moving. You have become a vector for everything you need to accomplish your task.

  1. People will enter your life to help you.

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”  —Unknown

When you are on a dedicated mission, people will come to your aid to help you make it real. You will find Mentors who will teach you and radically accelerate your progress. Haters (these are just as necessary as the others who enter your life). Your relationships are by far the most important aspect of your journey. You will begin attracting the right people in your life when you start doing the work.

  1. You will have bouts of doubt, but they won’t last long.

Living your dreams is not a “cheap experience.” It is supposed to require some effort, something from the depths of your soul. Growing in consciousness and progressing as a human being is intended to challenge you to the core. From time to time, doubts will creep in and you will question everything about yourself and what you’re doing. Remember, “A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.”

  1. You will feel inclined to do things you never considered before.

You are no longer rigid in your thinking. You’re open to whatever you feel inspired to do, even if—in the moment—it feels extremely uncomfortable. You no longer operate based on how you are feeling in the moment. The more open you become, the more you find yourself in places you never thought you’d be. But you don’t question why, you just keep going. Along the way, you “connect the dots looking backward.”

  1. You will see past the broken approaches most people take.

Most people haven’t committed to what they feel they should be doing, so they remain unaware of who they are, what they stand for and who they are becoming. They live in fear and confusion, simply waiting to be told what to do. Even worse, most people will go against their own values to fit in with the crowd. But when you’re liberated from conformity, you quickly discern more effective and efficient approaches.

In conclusion, when you commit to living intentionally, when you make a decision to live your Dream Live;

IT WILL BE YOU LIVING THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAM

 

BECOME A BETTER MAN – WRITE YOUR OWN EULOGY


Eulogy is a speech or piece of writing that praises someone or something highly, especially a tribute to someone who has just died. It is a speech of:

  • Accolade
  • Tribute
  • Testimonial
  • Commendation
  • Homage

Death is something all of us have imagined at one time or another, it is inevitable that it will come. In fact death is one of the two things that are very certain in life; the other being birth. So, instead of fearing death and avoiding talking about it, why don’t we live our lives death ready. What would it be like to die and attend your own funeral? Imagine for a moment that you have an out of body experience and you are able to witness your own funeral!

  • Who would be there?
  • How many people would come?
  • Will the woman who spurned your love be devastated and finally realize how great you were?
  • Will someone you thought you were close with be surprisingly absent and how would that make you feel?
  • What will people say about you?
  • What will people remember about your life and how you treated them?
  • What would be your legacy?
  • How will you be eulogized?

The answers to these will depend on the following:

  • What are some of your fondest memories in life and who did you share them with?
  • What do you value most in life and was it obvious to others?
  • What are some character traits that people admired in you?
  • What talents do you possess and who benefited from them?
  • What did you like to talk about all the time? – Work, family, service to country, faith etc.
  • What makes you smile?

Now, let us take these imagination one step further because now you are presented with the opportunity to write your own eulogy. It may at first sound a little morbid, but we all must confront our mortality from time to time. Because the society does a bang up job of hiding death from our view and many of us live in a state of denial about the fact that we will one day be dead even if we live until we’re 99, that day will arrive faster than we can imagine. Life is short: carpe diem!

A day is coming when we will all be dead and pushing up daisies.  Acknowledging this fact can help us concentrate on living each day with purpose.

In considering what to say or write, ask yourself these two quick questions:

  • “What story, conversation or event will people remember when they think or remember you?”
  • “Is that remembrance something that would bring comfort to others in the audience?”

Consideration for your audience” is the most crucial task when writing or giving a eulogy.

How to Write Your Own Eulogy

Of course you can’t come up with your own eulogy without knowing how to write one in general. The easiest kind of eulogy to write is a “chronological eulogy” where you start from the beginning of your life, and give a run-down of where you were born, lived, education, marriage, family, kids, career, accomplishments, and so on.

Step 1: Write an outline.

  1. Sit down and imagine that you lived until you were 120 and then passed away.
  2. Now picture what you did during your 120 years of life. – This is your life as you hope to have lived it.

Where you lived.

  • Did you stay in the town you were born in or did you live in a far-flung land?
  • Did you move every few years and where did you retire?

How you lived.

  • Jot down some “memories” of yourself, your hobbies, what did you enjoy doing in your teenage years, young adult, and adult life.
  • What did you enjoy doing with your family and what kept you busy in retirement?

What kind of relationships did you have?

  • Did you get married and if so how many kids did you have?
  • How many friends did you have – many or a few really good ones?

What did you do for work?

  • Did you stay with one company or job your whole life or did you change careers many times?
  • Did you win any awards or accomplish any noteworthy feats?

What was most memorable about you?

  • Your sense of humor or lack of it or your delicious cooking?
  • Your insatiable love for adventure or your passion for the outdoors?
  • Your unshakable faith?

What was it about you that people admired most?

  • Your unwavering loyalty to friends, your honesty?
  • Your work ethic or your leadership qualities?
  • Your love for your family?
  • Your patience?

What will people miss most about you?

  • The creative homemade gifts you gave every Christmas?
  • What a good listener you were?
  • The handwritten letters you sent to friends?
  • The way you could turn every mishap into something to laugh about?

Step 2: Turn your outline into a eulogy.

Now you’re going to take all of the ideas you just jotted down and coalesce them into a finished project. Your eulogy doesn’t have to be an endless epistle but it must hit the high points of your life; the really important stuff.

Now that you have seen what a eulogy captures and how it is presented, the question is how will your eulogy read should yours be read today? The essence of this material is for everybody to think about each day that we are privilege to live so that at the end, our report card can give comfort and pride to our families.