Become a Better Man – Pay Attention


We’ve all probably heard from a teacher or a parent statements like Attention please! “Whatever you focus on will develop” “Pay attention”.  And most of us probably castigate ourselves on a daily basis for our inability to concentrate on the task at hand. It seems in our distracted world of texts, tweets, and news feeds, more and more folks are bemoaning their scattered thinking and have a strong desire to improve their attention span and focus but we often come up short. When we do fail, the typical response is to redouble our efforts and ask; “What is going on here? Why is it so hard to bridle my attention?”

In answering this question, the two common culprits to point to are the increasing amount of distractions in our modern world and our lack of individual discipline. While these factors are certainly part of the problem, there is a more fundamental underlying issue at play: people want to master their attention, but they don’t know what attention actually is. Since you can’t change what you can’t understand, it is necessary to study the nature of attention – what it is, how it works, and why it’s so important.

What is Attention?

Attention is taking possession of the mind on one out of several simultaneously possible objects or trains of thought. It implies a withdrawal from some things in order to deal effectively with others.

What we decide to pay attention to and what we decide to ignore shapes our existence and our reality. Since everyone pays attention to different things, everyone has different conceptions of reality and that is why three different eyewitnesses can have three different accounts of a crime and why couples get in fights about who is or isn’t pulling their weight around the house — everyone is training their focusing lens on different things and framing the “shots” of their reality in their own way. Attention involves a complex combination of different cognitive processes — like working memory and executive control — that work together in unison

So attention in a nutshell is the ability to focus on certain stimuli or thoughts while ignoring others, which in turn shapes how we perceive and experience the world around us.

 

Types of Attention

 

  1. Involuntary Attention

Involuntary attention isn’t consciously controlled by us, but rather by compelling stimuli in our environment. We experience involuntary attention when we hear a loud noise, see what we think is a snake slithering in the grass, or simply notice something new and novel. Stimuli that’s possibly dangerous typically grabs our involuntary attention more than stimuli that could lead to a reward; in primitive times, simply surviving was more important than getting ahead. In the modern age, our involuntary attention has been hijacked by the constant stream of stuff going on around us — urban noise, TV, smartphone pings, background music, etc. “Look, I see a bear!” has become, “Look a funny video on YouTube!

Basically, the sensitivity of our involuntary attention to the new and unusual is the reason why the internet is so distracting. While our involuntary attention can be overwhelmed by an onslaught of distractions, mild stimulation of it actually puts us in a state that quiets the mind and gives our voluntary attention a break. Getting out into nature puts us in this soft fascination state – there are different things to see whilst out walking in the woods, but the stream of incoming stimuli is so slow and mellow our mind feels simultaneously engaged and at rest.

 

  1. Voluntary Attention

Voluntary attention is a focusing process over which we have conscious control. Instead of our attention being at the whim of whatever stimuli grabs it, we deliberately decide what our mind attends to.

Voluntary attention requires effort, willpower, and intentional concentration. You exercise your voluntary attention when you decide which of the stimuli bombarding your involuntary attention you’ll attend to, and which you’ll ignore. We also call upon our voluntary attention when we try to shut out all competing stimuli in order to concentrate on a single task, like writing a memo, reading a book, meditating, or even playing a video game.

The more stimuli there are competing for our involuntary attention, the harder our voluntary attention has to work to stay engaged with the task at hand. If involuntary attention allowed our species to survive, voluntary attention is what has really helped us to thrive. It’s through voluntary attention that cities were built, wars were won, and masterpieces written. On an individual level, voluntary attention is what allows you to progress with your personal goals.

 

  1. Default Mode: Mind Wandering

When an outside stimulus isn’t engaging our involuntary attention or we’re not using our voluntary attention to attend to a specific task or thought, our mind shifts into a default mode called “mind wandering” – what we often refer to as daydreaming. On the one hand, mind wandering takes our voluntary attention away from whatever task we might be working on at the moment. It often happens while we’re engaged in low cognition activities like showering, walking, exercising, or even reading. On the other hand, when we engage in mind wandering, our brains actually use the same regions that are utilised when we are trying to exercise voluntary attention; even though we’re not paying attention to the task at hand, we are paying some attention to our distracting thoughts -like tonight’s dinner. Mind wandering is an important facet in our attention system because we spend about 50% of our time in this default. Spending time in this state has both benefits and drawbacks.

 

The Drawback of Mind Wandering

  1. Mind wandering keeps you from being present in what you’re doing
  2. When our minds wander, it normally drift towards negative thoughts and emotions such as unresolved problems, conflicts with co-workers, unfulfilled goals, bills to be paid, even an embarrassing moment from the past.
  3. These negative taught tend to pulls us deeper and deeper into a funk.

 

The Benefits of Mind Wandering

  1. Mind wandering directs our brain to the unused processing power towards solving unresolved problems. Mind wandering’s negativity bias is just trying to nudge us to work on the issues in our lives that need some untangling.
  2. During positive-constructive daydreaming, we engage in future planning, reminisce about positive emotional experiences, and engage in moral reasoning.
  3. Mind wandering can get our creative juices flowing. Mind wandering boosts creativity because it’s so unstructured. By allowing our mind to freely ramble over the hills and dales of our craniums, we’re able to make connections we otherwise wouldn’t if we were actively directing our attention to one single solution.
  4. Finally, and most importantly, daydreaming gives our voluntary and involuntary attention systems a break.

In summary, mind wandering can be good or bad, depending on how we manage and direct it. While research suggests that whether our mind wandering skews negative or positive depends largely in part on our genetic temperament, we do have the conscious ability to nudge our wandering mind into more constructive modes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Become a Better Man – Decide to Live Your Dream


When we were kids, we had dreams of cool and exciting stuff we wanted to do when we grew up. We wrote many English composition in secondary school on “What I would like to be in future”

But something happens when we became adults, we become cynical and start thinking big adventures aren’t prudent, reasonable and affordable. We said we’re too busy to do anything extraordinary and we were surrounded by ordinary people who aren’t doing anything special either. So we settle and stick with doing what’s safe, we settle for less instead of asking for more. We gave up on our dreams and start to exist instead of living and we fit into the mould instead of breaking the containment. Ultimately, we give up on our dreams and live an ordinary, boring, going-nowhere, NFA – (no future ambition) lives.

The question is how did we resolve that there is something better than those dreams? The answer is we woke up and stopped dreaming, we told ourselves – “oh, that was just a dream” and we abandoned who we were and embraced who we are told we are. So, today I say “wake up from your slumber and dream again” because what we had was not just a dream, rather we were time travelling into our future. It was:

  1. A purpose
  2. The reason we are here
  3. Our lives
  4. Our future
  5. Our goal

No matter how deeply we bury our dreams, their carcass and their ghosts of regret over their demise will still come bubbling to the surface. I am convinced that all men are made for adventure. And when there’s no adventure in our lives, a little part of us dies. If you feel like you’ve been in a rut or that you’ve become too boring, a DECISION is the first step to adding a little more excitement back into your life. A quality DECISION is the one KEY that will open the road map to a life of adventure and fulfilment for you.

In order to succeed, how you see yourselves have to fundamentally change because the DECISION to live again will start to disconnect you from your environment and relationships and you will find yourself looking out over the edge of a cliff. You will be terrified of what might happen if you allow yourself to go there. Will everything fall apart? You will be tempted to turn around and go back to the lie you’ve been living. But No, not this time! This time is different because you’ve caught on to the fact that there’s really nothing behind you and going back would be more painful than the unknown future—no matter what that might be.

HERE ARE 10 DOORS THAT THE DECISION KEY WILL OPEN FOR YOU

  1. You will see your dream everywhere.

“Our eyes only see and our ears only hear what our brain is looking for.”  —Dan Sullivan

Once you commit to living your dreams, the lids blinding your eyes will be lifted. A completely new world will be opened to your view. You will notice opportunities that have been in your reach all along, the ones your conscious mind simply didn’t pay heed to. Your selective attention will zoom-in on what you want in microscopic detail. The fundamental change taking place is your self-identity and once this shift has happened, your whole world will change. Nothing becomes impossible to you. Your only limitations are your consciousness, which is quickly expanding.

  1. You will have boundless energy, fueled by purpose.

After you’ve crossed the threshold of decision, you will find a new wellspring of infinite energy and you will no longer need to rely on willpower. You will move beyond will to why and your internal resolve and zeal will trump your external stimuli—no matter how difficult.

  1. You will learn, grow and understand quickly.

Once you’ve made the leap, you’ll have a thirst for knowledge, wisdom and understanding like a sponge, soaking up everything you can, creating loads of neural connections and schematic networks. With enhanced consciousness, time will slow down for you and you’ll see things in slow motion mode than others. You will teach and share abundantly. You will experience far more joy seeing others benefiting from your teaching than by experiencing success yourself

  1. You will realise all of your previous fears were unfounded.

Theory and experience are two completely different things. When you fully commit to your decision, in your mind, you already are where you plan to be. So you don’t worry about it anymore. You see fears as part of the process, as a signal you’re moving in the right direction.

  1. You will stop worrying about—and instead anticipate—the future.

Once you’ve made your decision, you have nothing to worry about because you are in creation mode. You are no longer chasing happiness. You know success is inevitable because you’re in alignment. Every day your external world more closely matches your internal reality. As Dan Sullivan said, “You can have everything you love in life as long as you give up what you hate.”

  1. All of your needs will be met

Beyond your point of no return, blessings become your norm. All of your needs are met, the right people will come into your life, you will have enough time and money to get moving. You have become a vector for everything you need to accomplish your task.

  1. People will enter your life to help you.

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”  —Unknown

When you are on a dedicated mission, people will come to your aid to help you make it real. You will find Mentors who will teach you and radically accelerate your progress. Haters (these are just as necessary as the others who enter your life). Your relationships are by far the most important aspect of your journey. You will begin attracting the right people in your life when you start doing the work.

  1. You will have bouts of doubt, but they won’t last long.

Living your dreams is not a “cheap experience.” It is supposed to require some effort, something from the depths of your soul. Growing in consciousness and progressing as a human being is intended to challenge you to the core. From time to time, doubts will creep in and you will question everything about yourself and what you’re doing. Remember, “A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.”

  1. You will feel inclined to do things you never considered before.

You are no longer rigid in your thinking. You’re open to whatever you feel inspired to do, even if—in the moment—it feels extremely uncomfortable. You no longer operate based on how you are feeling in the moment. The more open you become, the more you find yourself in places you never thought you’d be. But you don’t question why, you just keep going. Along the way, you “connect the dots looking backward.”

  1. You will see past the broken approaches most people take.

Most people haven’t committed to what they feel they should be doing, so they remain unaware of who they are, what they stand for and who they are becoming. They live in fear and confusion, simply waiting to be told what to do. Even worse, most people will go against their own values to fit in with the crowd. But when you’re liberated from conformity, you quickly discern more effective and efficient approaches.

In conclusion, when you commit to living intentionally, when you make a decision to live your Dream Live;

IT WILL BE YOU LIVING THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAM

 

BECOME A BETTER MAN – WRITE YOUR OWN EULOGY


Eulogy is a speech or piece of writing that praises someone or something highly, especially a tribute to someone who has just died. It is a speech of:

  • Accolade
  • Tribute
  • Testimonial
  • Commendation
  • Homage

Death is something all of us have imagined at one time or another, it is inevitable that it will come. In fact death is one of the two things that are very certain in life; the other being birth. So, instead of fearing death and avoiding talking about it, why don’t we live our lives death ready. What would it be like to die and attend your own funeral? Imagine for a moment that you have an out of body experience and you are able to witness your own funeral!

  • Who would be there?
  • How many people would come?
  • Will the woman who spurned your love be devastated and finally realize how great you were?
  • Will someone you thought you were close with be surprisingly absent and how would that make you feel?
  • What will people say about you?
  • What will people remember about your life and how you treated them?
  • What would be your legacy?
  • How will you be eulogized?

The answers to these will depend on the following:

  • What are some of your fondest memories in life and who did you share them with?
  • What do you value most in life and was it obvious to others?
  • What are some character traits that people admired in you?
  • What talents do you possess and who benefited from them?
  • What did you like to talk about all the time? – Work, family, service to country, faith etc.
  • What makes you smile?

Now, let us take these imagination one step further because now you are presented with the opportunity to write your own eulogy. It may at first sound a little morbid, but we all must confront our mortality from time to time. Because the society does a bang up job of hiding death from our view and many of us live in a state of denial about the fact that we will one day be dead even if we live until we’re 99, that day will arrive faster than we can imagine. Life is short: carpe diem!

A day is coming when we will all be dead and pushing up daisies.  Acknowledging this fact can help us concentrate on living each day with purpose.

In considering what to say or write, ask yourself these two quick questions:

  • “What story, conversation or event will people remember when they think or remember you?”
  • “Is that remembrance something that would bring comfort to others in the audience?”

Consideration for your audience” is the most crucial task when writing or giving a eulogy.

How to Write Your Own Eulogy

Of course you can’t come up with your own eulogy without knowing how to write one in general. The easiest kind of eulogy to write is a “chronological eulogy” where you start from the beginning of your life, and give a run-down of where you were born, lived, education, marriage, family, kids, career, accomplishments, and so on.

Step 1: Write an outline.

  1. Sit down and imagine that you lived until you were 120 and then passed away.
  2. Now picture what you did during your 120 years of life. – This is your life as you hope to have lived it.

Where you lived.

  • Did you stay in the town you were born in or did you live in a far-flung land?
  • Did you move every few years and where did you retire?

How you lived.

  • Jot down some “memories” of yourself, your hobbies, what did you enjoy doing in your teenage years, young adult, and adult life.
  • What did you enjoy doing with your family and what kept you busy in retirement?

What kind of relationships did you have?

  • Did you get married and if so how many kids did you have?
  • How many friends did you have – many or a few really good ones?

What did you do for work?

  • Did you stay with one company or job your whole life or did you change careers many times?
  • Did you win any awards or accomplish any noteworthy feats?

What was most memorable about you?

  • Your sense of humor or lack of it or your delicious cooking?
  • Your insatiable love for adventure or your passion for the outdoors?
  • Your unshakable faith?

What was it about you that people admired most?

  • Your unwavering loyalty to friends, your honesty?
  • Your work ethic or your leadership qualities?
  • Your love for your family?
  • Your patience?

What will people miss most about you?

  • The creative homemade gifts you gave every Christmas?
  • What a good listener you were?
  • The handwritten letters you sent to friends?
  • The way you could turn every mishap into something to laugh about?

Step 2: Turn your outline into a eulogy.

Now you’re going to take all of the ideas you just jotted down and coalesce them into a finished project. Your eulogy doesn’t have to be an endless epistle but it must hit the high points of your life; the really important stuff.

Now that you have seen what a eulogy captures and how it is presented, the question is how will your eulogy read should yours be read today? The essence of this material is for everybody to think about each day that we are privilege to live so that at the end, our report card can give comfort and pride to our families.

 

BECOME A BETTER MAN – (BUILD YOUR WEALTH)


Graduate from a Pay cheque Mentality to a Net-Worth Mentality

Question:

  1. Do you feel like you’re not getting ahead with your finances?
  2. That no matter how hard you work or how much extra money you earn, you’re still in the same place as you were a year or even five years ago?
  3. You seems to run out of money before the end of the month or before your next salary
  4. It seems you have more bills to pay every month
  5. You would like to maintain a regular saving account with monthly deposit but somehow, it just wasn’t happening

Answer: – It may be because you have the wrong mind set about your finances.

According to Jack Bogle, the author of The Bogleheads’ Guide to Investing, there are two mentalities when it comes to personal finance:

  • The pay cheque mentality

A person with a pay cheque mentality focuses on increasing their income in order to increase their wealth.

  • The Net Worth mentality.

A person with a net worth mentality also seeks to

  • Boost or increase their income,
  • But also build their wealth through
    • Saving
    • Investing

Even though the second path seems like the obvious path to take, unfortunately, many people are stuck in a pay cheque mentality.

  • So, when it comes to wealth, it is not
    • What you say
    • What you do
    • Where you are from
    • The nature of your work
    • The size of your salary
  • Rather, it is a product of your pre disposed MIND SET

Although there is a definite relationship between income and wealth, they are very separate and distinct economic measures.

Income is how much money you earn in a given period of time.

  • If you earn a million in a year and spend it all, you add nothing to your wealth. You’re just living lavishly.
  • Those who focus only on net income as a measure of economic success are ignoring the most important measuring stick of financial independence.
  • It’s not how much you make, it is how much you keep.”

Wealth building mentality however isn’t just to make more money, but to keep more of it to create long-lasting assets and security for yourself and family.

HOW TO CREATE A WEALTH MENTALITY

Focus on net worth

Net worth is the underlying motivation of all wealth builders. It is the foundational measure by which all millionaires, billionaires, and the soon to join their ranks think. But don’t get confused by the movie start lifestyle so forcefully depicted in reality T.V. shows and movies. Those lifestyles are far and few between and usually end somewhere between drug addiction and bankruptcy. Therefore, if you wish to become wealthy in anything, your focus should be on surplus and the net value of that surplus.

Have Specific Goals

Having a goal is not enough. A specific goal with a specific blueprint is required for wealth mentality. A goal in itself without ACTION never guarantees success Action is the single characteristic that EVERY self-made success displays. Every other attribute is debatable…but not action. Action is the main vehicle that everyone taking the wealth mentality express is riding in. Your starting point is your current place in time…where you are right now. Your specific goal is the destination you wish to arrive at and action is everything between those two points. Without these three ingredients you don’t have a recipe for success or for wealth mentality. Thus, the reason for having a SPECIFIC goal is because the depth and detail of that goal will determine the type and amount of ACTION you will take when you remind yourself of that goal.

Have a Definite Purpose

Question: – Is your work your purpose?

Ask yourself, is your current method of earning wealth your purpose? Do you feel like you were meant to do what you are doing right now? If not, then you need to find that definite purpose and focus 100% on whatever it is because only when you have found this single, definite purpose will you be able to pour your heart and your strength into that area. Sadly, not too many people can answer this question – because many people never stop and ask themselves what it is that truly makes them happy. Without this self-exploration, it’s impossible to truly know what can makes you happy and when you aren’t sure about what makes you happy, you will surely have difficulty in knowing what your purpose is.

Make Your Destiny

Never believe that you are predetermined for something. Remember that you are in control of pretty much everything that happens in your life that is not considered an “act of God”. Although there are instances in life that are completely out of your control but when it comes to being the architect of your long-term life print, you and ONLY YOU, will be able to direct energy to that path.

Most people are THERMOMETERS. They react to life and everything that life throws at them. You can tell if they are having a good day just by looking at their face because they give in to the reality that surrounds them. But people with wealth mentality are THERMOSTATS. They set the temperature of life and they construct their own futures for success. While few people exhibit this mind set, most who do are either very successful or on their way to success in whatever area they choose to direct their energy and efforts.

Measure Your Progress

We all love the feeling associated with starting, working at, and completing a certain task. The feeling of accomplishment is a powerful motivator for even the least goal oriented individual. It may seem a silly thought at first, but teaching yourself to feel this accomplishment has two very basic, yet very important results. First, you can use this sense of accomplishment to measure the overall productivity of your day. If you have a checklist of certain tasks (which you should), then checking them off as you complete them should give you a quantitative way to measure the productivity of your day. Second, you will be able to let that feeling of accomplishment compound and build more positivity in your life. Our average day is bombarded with negativity from every type of media or common interaction which can sometimes stifle your creativity and motivation. By continually teaching yourself to feel positive and excitement after successful completion of your tasks, you will offset any negativity you may come across.

Be deadline Driven

Pressure can sometimes be your best ally. Allowing yourself to be placed in certain situations of pressure can develop valuable skills, abilities and character that you could never develop otherwise. For instance, the high amounts of pressure exerted on carbon-bearing materials creates the ultra-valuable diamond. Procrastination is the killer of dreams and any goal without a sense of urgency will rarely be accomplished. The easiest way to avoid any type of procrastination is to formulate a definite deadline for your task or goal. Stick to it with an emphasis on finishing the task EARLY. It’s important to emphasize finishing early so the thought of procrastination never beats your motivation. One simple way to do this is to give yourself a reward for finishing the highest priority task in a given day.

Work Hard 

There is no substitute for hard work in developing Wealth Mentality.

What is WORK? Work builds things. It is definite progression towards a specific goal with a deadline for accomplishing that goal. Work has a high probability of generating wealth, in this case monetary wealth. Before you perform a task, ask yourself this simple question – “Is this WORK”?

  • Is checking your email work?
  • Is taking that client out to lunch work?
  • Is researching that new iPod or gadget to be released work?

For most people, it you take note of your daily activities, you will be amazed when you review your results only to see that the vast majority of your “work day” was not spent working. There is one more way to “work” your way to wealth. It’s a secret that a seldom few people ever think about or explore. It’s the concept of leverage, and it is the most efficient way to work your way to wealth.

LEVERAGE IS THAT YOUR WORK MUST BE DIRECTED TOWARDS BUILDING SOMETHING THAT HAS VALUE, WHETHER THAT BE A SERVICE OR A PRODUCT.

The question is what you are building, is it for you or for someone else’s services or products.

Play Hard

What good is having an abundance of wealth if it doesn’t allow you to have an excess of finances as well as your most important asset…time? The basic concept of wealth is that there is an abundance of some sort. Monetary wealth is obviously the abundance of money, but wealth comes in many forms. The most valuable form of wealth comes in the abundance of free-time. This sort of wealth is usually built through various methods of leverage. No surprise most wealthy people have stocks, bonds and other assets that provide leverage for them to have free time to play hard. Obviously, free-time is paramount to our happiness as individuals.

Just like many things in nature, there is a delicate balance between hard work and hard play that we must maintain if we wish to take hold of the wealth mentality. Too much work, and we become less efficient in our goals and progression. Too much play, and we lose sight of our goals and fall into the traps of procrastination and other motivation-busting emotions. The key is balance and efficiency.

 

BECOME A BETTER MAN – GET A MEDICAL CHECK-UP


Men are reluctant to pay a visit to the man in the white coat.

Chances are you get your car tuned regularly, never skip an oil change, and keep it buffed and polished till it sparkles.

But are you taking such good care of yourself?

Our busy lives and work schedules often prevent us from seeking routine preventive medical care. But preventive medicine is cost-effective and reduces the risk of illness and disease. A stitch in time saves NINE. More than half of the men in the United States have not been to see a doctor in the past year and 55% of men admit that they are reluctant to visit the doctor. Hence, men tend to die earlier than women and are more likely to die from eight out of the ten top causes of death than women – when most of them are curable if detected early.

Reasons why men don’t visit the doctor on a regular basis.

  1. One reason is that going to the doctor is just too inconvenient.
  2. Another reason is that we’ve been socialised since childhood to believe that being a man means sucking it up when you have an illness or injury. Going to the doctor for some men means admitting that you’re weak and defeated, and, thus, unmanly.
  3. Men view the doctor as someone we only visit when something’s wrong with us. We don’t see going to the doctor as a way to prevent health problems before they start.
  4. Finally, some men are nervous about going to the doctor because they are afraid the doctor may find something wrong. But while being diagnosed with something wrong isn’t very fun, it’s still better than dying from lack or late diagnosis

4 Reasons to Get Regular Physical Medical Check-up

  1. Prevent health problems.

Medicine is not just geared towards treating health problems, it is also to prevent them. More and more doctors are focusing on preventing their patients’ health problems before they start. By getting a regular exam, you can nip your health problems in the bud.

  • If your doctor spots a funky looking mole, it can be removed before you have problems with skin cancer.
  • If he notices that your blood pressure is too high, he can suggest a diet and fitness plan to help reduce it before you have a heart attack.
  • If your family has a history of certain diseases or health problems, your doctor can give you guidance on how you can reduce your risk of suffering those ailments.
  1. Save money.

If a doctor can nip a problem in the bud before it gets serious, you’ll save a lot of money on medical bills down the road – especially if you are responsible for your medical bills.

  1. Establish baselines.

Getting a physical medical examination will

  • Establish baselines for things like your weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol and help your doctor gauge your health’s subsequent progression or regression and advise you on steps to take to correct the anomalies
  1. Develop a relationship with your doctor.

Because men don’t see the doctor regularly, we often don’t have a doctor with whom we’ve developed a trusting relationship. But having a doctor that you can trust can ensure that you get the best care possible.

How Often Should You Get a Physical Medical Examination?

If you’re in your 2o’s… every five years.

If you’re in your 30’s… every three years.

If you’re in your 40’s… every two years.

50 and above, every year

The 10 tests you can do at home

The Men’s Health Forum recommends the following checks which can indicate a possible problem but if you are worried see your GP.

  1. Tummy

If your waist is more than 37 inches you’re getting into the obese range and risking heart disease and diabetes. Reduce risk by weight loss and exercise; even a brisk 15-minute daily walk will help.

  1. Testicles

Examine your testicles once a month for lumps or changes. If you notice any visit your GP. This is the most common cancer among men between 20 and 35 but any age can fall foul. It’s curable in more than 90 per cent of cases if caught early.

  1. Behaviour

Look at your behaviour honestly. Are you drinking too much, have a short fuse, think about suicide? Depression is grossly under-diagnosed among men because it’s difficult to talk about. Visit your GP or talk to the Samaritans.

  1. Nails

If your nails are very pale under the beds (they should be pink) and the creases in your hands are pale, you may be anaemic. Sufferers tend to be pale and lethargic. It can be a sign of something more serious, such as cancer of the bowel, stomach or blood.

  1. Diabetes awareness

Diabetes, a lack of insulin, prevents the body metabolising sugars and can have serious complications, including kidney failure, blindness, heart disease and amputations. A combination of increased thirst, tiredness, thrush infections and weight gain, see your GP.

  1. Moles

Check your moles and report any changes in size or shape including bleeding, crusting, itching or inflammation. Melanoma accounts for three out of four deaths from the skin disease and has doubled over the last 15 years.

  1. Waterworks

Monitor visits to the loo at night and any trouble passing water or blood in the urine. This may be a sign of an enlarged prostate. Prostate cancer can be detected with simple tests, yet claims the lives of 10,000 men a year, mostly the over 45s.

  1. Penis

Look for discharge, discolouration or small growths. Sexually-transmitted diseases are increasing, including hepatitis, HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhoea and syphilis.

  1. Bowels

Look for changes in your bowel habits. If you have constipation, then diarrhoea and/or blood in your stools see your GP. The symptoms can indicate a disease such as piles, colitis, Crohn’s or bowel cancer – the third most common cancer in men.

  1. Blood pressure

Have your blood pressure checked every three years if under 40, then annually. Hypertension (high blood pressure) is the main cause of heart disease. Symptoms include tunnel vision and blood in your urine. Men can mistake cardiac pain for indigestion. If indigestion remedies don’t work or the pain appears with exercise or you feel sick, it could be your heart.

 

 

BECOME A BETTER MAN – (PLAY)


“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”George Bernard Shaw

 When was the last time you played just for playing sake?

For most people, the answer to that question will be “not since I was a little child”. Adults around the world are flocking to the playgrounds of their childhoods in search of relaxation and release. Not surprisingly, an entire cottage industry has subsequently sprouted up to help them satiate their inner child.

  • In Brooklyn, an adult preschoollets office workers and executives participate in arts and crafts, and re-enact schoolyard favourites like “show and tell.”
  • In the United Kingdom, a design studio opened a ball pitjust for grown-ups
  • While laughter clubsin India offer a form of both spiritual and physical exercise for disgruntled citizens.
  • And recently, the two best-selling books on Amazon were “adult colouring books

Research has shown that people of all ages benefit from unstructured play time as a respite from the grind of daily life. Play can relieve stress, boost creativity, improve brain function, and improve our relationships with other people by fostering trust with others  and a lack of play time is seen as a major health obstacle for children and adult. Playing is on the decline  and that has negative consequences for kids and adults alike. For instance, since about 1955, children’s free play has been in continuous decline, partly because adults have exerted ever-increasing control over children’s activities, and over the same period that play has declined, the mental health of children and adolescents has also declined. So, by abandoning play, we’re abandoning an important part of ourselves. Play isn’t just important for kids,  it’s beneficial to our society. It’s time for adults to take it seriously, both for their sake and for their children.

There are three main characteristics that must be met:

  1. It’s voluntary in the sense that you’re not obligated to do it.
  2. It’s flexible and can be changed or manipulated, like Play-Doh for your life.
  3. It is enjoyable and fun.

When you think about it, there’s not enough of enjoyment and joy in our lives these days because:

  • It’s a problem of our modern, work-obsessed society:
  • We’ve lost play in the hustle and bustle of our lives.
  • We spend our time between our jobs, our kids, being on Twitter and Facebook to catch the current trends.

Why is play so important for childhood development?

  • First, play doesn’t have consequences in the same way that real life does:
  • When we want to blow off steam, this is the way we do it without having trouble.
  • Play is how children explore the world around them and themselves.
  • It helps give children the capacity to make decisions, to solve problems, to build and experiment and transform.
  • More generally, for both children and adults, it really gives us a chance to build our imagination.

It is during playing that the fantastic becomes real, the real becomes fantastic and we can try out a new hypothesis without consequence.

This one thing that we’ve lost in our society is the understanding that exploration, understanding, and creative thinking is what got us to where we are, that’s how we invented the car and the air plane. It’s because we had people who weren’t afraid to try out ideas and fail along the way and have the grit to stick with it — and learning that comes from play.

Does this change as we get older?

Play matters, no matter how old you are. The only thing that has changed is the stigma. We associate play with childhood, and therefore associate playing with childishness. Think about the world we live in, you’re supposed to answer your emails within 30 seconds, or you’re considered negligent. If somebody asks “How are you?” the appropriate answer is “busy.” It also doesn’t help that we basically have a sedentary nation. Some say sitting is the new cancer. We’re not an active nation anymore. People do better when they’re acting and moving rather than just sitting and staring. A lot of play has become centred on screens. Technology has taken over a lot of our loose attention. It is part of the sitting phenomenon, we are constantly facing a screen.

The Benefits of Play for Adults

By giving yourself permission to play with the joyful abandonment of childhood, you can reap the myriad of health benefits throughout life such as:

  • Relieve stress
  • Improve brain function
  • Stimulate the mind and boost creativity
  • Improve relationships and your connection to others.
  • Keep you feeling young and energetic

“THE DEFINITION OF ADULT DOES NOT STATE YOU CANNOT PLAY ANYMORE, AND THE DEFINITION OF PLAY DOES NOT STATE IT IS ONLY FOR CHILDREN.”

 

 

BECOME A BETTER MAN – 6 (WORK)


2 Thessalonians 3:10

“For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.”

Work is the master key to open the hidden wealth of your potential which is the greatest task and the most pressing need of your life. You are capable of more than you think or believe and more than others expect of you. If all your monthly effort ends in a monthly report that you don’t even know where it goes or ended up, you have a job, you are not working or investing.

JOB – A paid position of regular employment.

WORK – Activity involving mental and physical effort done in order to achieve a result, purpose or destiny.

There are 3 types of work, Physical work, Spiritual work and Intellectual or Mental work which is the most important type of work because it is the avenue to bring something new to life and it helps you to understand the spiritual work. The first thing God gave to MAN after blessing them was WORK. Genesis 1:28 “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.”

  • Be fruitful
  • Multiply
  • Replenish the earth
  • Subdue the earth
  • Have dominion over everything in it

God gave the garden to man to till, keep and maintain = WORK. In order words, do something about your immediate environment or position; add value to it and make it what you want. “Change the status quo.”

The first land that you have to till, keep and maintain is your life. There is something still hidden or buried in it and only you can expose or bring it to life WORK ON IT. Till the ground of your life, cultivate the ground of your life, develop the ground of your life and nurture your ground. Your net worth is a direct response to how much work you are able to do on yourself which equates to how much value you are able to add to yourself and the way to make yourself indispensable and extraordinary is by adding value to yourself through WORK. The love of work is the secret to personal progress, productivity, and fulfilment. No one is ever paid per hour; everybody is paid based on the value they bring to the hour!

Purpose of Work

God wants us to be good workers, not good job keepers because it is His tool to make us productive and fruitful and God is more concerned with the use of the skills and talents He gave us than He is with our financial wealth or job title. We must work to reveal the invisible possibilities that exist in us. God worked through His spoken word to make the invincible visible, work is God’s gift to help people discover their potentials and until you start doing something to discover what you can be, you will miss the blessings inherent in work. In the absence of work;

  • strength and energy waste away,
  • dreams and visions wither and die,
  • God-given skills and talents degenerate,
  • Productivity wanes.
  • Laziness aborts potential and sacrifices possibilities.

Benefits of Work

  1. Provision for physical needs,
  2. Builds self-esteem,
  3. Teaches the discovery and use of talents, skills, and abilities which are far more important than the acquisition of money,
  4. Develops in us an attitude that sees a challenge as a reason for rejoicing because it holds the possibility for success,
  5. Offers the opportunity to transform dreams into reality
  6. Multiplies resources,
  7. Work is a blessing to others as it enables us to give generously of what we have and who we are.

How to work hard & work smart

The workplace philosophy, experts and gurus will say – “Work smart don’t work hard” and we have all bought into this ideology and everybody is looking for ways to work smart and not work hard. The solutions they are offering to accomplish this theory are things like:

  • Prioritise your tasks
  • Be a good time keeper
  • Have clear objectives
  • Have a to do list
  • Apply the 3Ds – Deal with it, Delegate it, Delete it!

These are all great ideas and practices but they will not in themselves either singularly or collectively make you work smarter. They may help you get the JOB done, but never make you work smarter because these ideas do not recognise the difference between JOB & WORK. You cannot work smarter and not harder or harder and not smarter. They go together because they both relate to YOU, not the JOB. In fact, in order to work smarter, you have to first work harder – “Intellectual work”

So, in other to work Harder & Smarter:

  1. Fall in love with the work

The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. Work is not a course, it is a blessing from God to help you maximise your life because through work you can:

* Maximise your time

* Convert your time

* Discover yourself

* Unveil the hidden treasures of the earth and in you

  1. Always do your best in everything you do.
  • Anything that is worth doing; is worth doing well.
  • Until you commit all (100%) to anything, you will not get a full result.
  • Anything that is “nearly done” is not done well and will not yield a lasting or fulfilling result.

Remember:

– When you do a good job, you don’t get any reward

– When you do a great job, you get a good reward

– When you do an excellent job, you get a great reward

– When you do an outstanding job, you get an excellent reward

– When you do an extraordinary job, you get an outstanding reward

  1. Don’t compare yourself with or by other people’s standard.

Your yardstick of excellence is God’s standard and the standard that you have set for yourself. Success will always demand from you more than you are willing to give and life will not give you what you want or demand, it will only give you what you contend for. Run the race that is set before you, everyone will have to give account for his race.