BECOME A BETTER MAN – 5 (FIND A MENTOR)


Figuring out what it means to be a man can be tough especially tougher for men today because,

  • Men are often more socially isolated; they don’t have as many friends.
  • Men don’t have strong relationships with their fathers and other male relatives.
  • The epidemic of fatherlessness or absentee fathers

Unfortunately, two generations of men went without mentors growing up. So, without good examples of men to emulate, young men often get a bit lost leading to poor perform in school or getting involved in crime. It’s therefore more important than ever for every man to seek out mentors to help him navigate the complicated waters of manliness and life. So having a mentor is quite important. The tricky part is, how do you find one? Here’s a suggested road map.

  1. Determine what sort of mentor you’re looking for. We all have different facets of our lives. Work, school, spirituality, family, etc. Ask yourself what area of your life needs improvement and could benefit from a mentor. Even if you’re just looking for a mentor to help you be an all-around better man.
  1. Draw up a list of three men that you’d like to mentor you. Think of all the men you know that you’ve always looked up to or admired and wish you had a better relationship with. If you’re looking for a mentor to help you be an overall better man, simply think of the men you know and admire. Also, don’t stick with men that are exactly like you. If two people are the same, one of them is irrelevant. One of the benefits of a mentor is that they can help expand your point of view.
  1. Write down how each mentor could help you grow as a man. Think of the traits each man has that you wish to learn. Do some research on them. Do they come from a similar background as you, have unique experiences that can broaden your conception and understanding of success in a particular area of your life, have they had any setbacks similar to yours? What is it exactly about this person that makes you want him to be your mentor?
  1. Figure out what you expect from the mentor relationship. Before you ask someone to be your mentor, you need to know what he should expect from the relationship. How often would you like to meet with him? How do you want the mentoring to take place? A discussion over lunch? Email? A monthly phone call? When you’re deciding this, take into account the men you’re asking to be your mentor and what will work for them.
  1. Ask the first man on your list. After you’ve done all your prep work, it’s time to ask. Call, email, or a write a letter to do the asking depending on each person. Tell your prospective mentor that you’re looking for a mentor in a specific area of your life and that you think he’d be a good one and tell him why. People love to be praised!
  1. Expect rejection. Don’t’ get discouraged and don’t take it personally if people say no. People are busy these days, and they just might not have time to be a mentor. If the first man says no, go on to the second.
  1. Say “thank you.” No matter if you get a no or a yes, be sure to thank the person. Mentoring is a privilege and not a right.

Become a Mentor too!

Just as you need man mentors, so too do other men. No one needs guidance in the art of manliness more than boys and young men, who are trying to figure how to become worthy men. Every man should make mentoring a part of his life.

Here are just a few ways to do that:

  1. Become a Scout leader. Boy Scout troops always need volunteers who are eager to make a difference in boys’ lives.

2. Become a Big Brother. A lot of young men out there are growing up without a positive father figure in their lives. Be the man these boys can turn to and emulate as they grow up.

3. Volunteer with your church’s youth group. Lucky is the young man can find a man who is both an older friend and a spiritual mentor.

4. Get to know your kids’ friends. I guess some kids try to hide from adults, but if they’re game, it’s okay to hang out with them from time to time. Take your son and his friends fishing or hunting.

 

Keys to transform your dreams into reality



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There is a recipe that entrepreneurs who are living their dreams already know. How is it possible that some get to live the life of their choosing while others are left to wonder what their dream life would feel like? Are a select few born with the talent, the inheritance or the charisma to achieve their dreams while the rest must take life as it is? Not at all. The truth is there is a tried and true recipe that entrepreneurs who live their dreams know and you can learn it.

Here are the four simple ingredients to transform your dreams into reality so you can live the life you’ve always desired.

  1. Belief

Belief is of paramount importance. Before the achievement of every dream there was first a seed of belief. You must believe you are capable of achieving what you set out to accomplish and believe that you are worthy and capable of making your dreams reality. Oprah Winfrey said every time you state what you want or believe, you’re the first to hear it. It’s a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don’t put a ceiling on yourself.  The entrepreneurs who are living their dreams didn’t put a ceiling on what they could believe or achieve.

  1. Discipline

Belief is a beautiful thing. It’s the blueprint from which you will construct your dreams. However, the foundation you’re going to build your dreams on will be the discipline of relentless hard work and the discipline to act every day toward your dreams. It was football hall of famer Vince Lombardi that said “The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand”. That’s the formula for winning in the game of sports and in life. You have to have the discipline to take action if you want to live your dreams.

dreams-quote (1)Nick Woodman, founder of GoPro, shared the importance of this drive and discipline as he created his now legendary camera company saying, “To get GoPro started, I moved back in with my parents and went to work seven days a week, 20 hours a day. I wrote off my personal life to make headway on it.”

You have to be willing to put in the work and the discipline to achieve your dreams. It doesn’t happen without belief, but it also won’t happen on beliefs alone — you need discipline.

  1. Vision

Vision is crucial to your dreams. Vision is staying in the game, staying motivated and sticking to your dream.

Daniel Elk, founder of Spotify said, “We led with our conviction rather than rational, because rational said it was impossible.” You have to have the vision to stand by your dreams, to want them despite the naysayers and to inspire those around you to help build your vision, too. Vision also means having the ability to adapt and be flexible with the way your dreams are unfolding. It’s the ability to keep going confidently in the direction of what you want during the slumps, lulls, hardships and ambiguity that will undoubtedly lie along your entrepreneurial path. Stanley Tang, founder of eMillions said success comes down to hard work plus passion, over time. If you work really, really hard over a long period of time, it will pay off.

  1. Acknowledgment

Keys To Success

Successful entrepreneurs will tell you that a life of your dreams is marked by many successes and surreal moments that happened along the way to where they are today. You never really “get there,” you constantly keep moving toward your ever-evolving dream. That’s why taking moments to acknowledge how far you’ve come is so important along the way to your dreams, because dreams have a funny way of becoming moving targets.

The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch. — Jim Rohn

Be the envied by following this recipe to living your dreams.